Evaluating Yourself

You are hiring your most important employee-you! What skills and traits do you have?
What do you need to develop? Here are a couple of scenarios that suggest why
it is necessary to evaluate yourself.

• You are into the third week of a new practice routine and making progress. Today, however, your mind starts to wander and fills with self doubt as well as pity. There is no time for exercising, reading , or other interests. The initial motive for practicing is hazy and you ask yourself whether this is worth the time and effort. You feel as though you have been neglecting your family, and your social life is non-existent. Is it worth it? Will you be on the road all the time? The words clutter your mind- can't; won't; never; couldn't; wouldn't; how can I ?

• You're practicing, exercising, reading, dieting and improving yourself in everyway possible; however, your car is going to be repossessed if you can't make up the last two payments.

The skills we learn in life are a means to an end fitting into larger 'ends' or goals in a constantly growing cycle. All the pianistic dexterity you possess can prove useless if you never develop the interpretive and creative art of playing. The complete development of musical abilities in accord with your life's pursuits requires clearly defined and deliberately plotted goals creating a road map through life. Without this map we may not know where we are going; and 'if we don't know where we are going we probably won't get there.'

Start to develop your goals by determining the necessities, the luxuries, and the character traits and abilities you desire. The proper character traits are necessary to obtain the tangible things we need and want. To help you develop these personality qualities, reflect on your self image and why you have not achieved your fullest potential.

Our self image may be inadequate in many areas. Criticism, rejection, reprimands and various forms of negative reinforcement nurtured during our impressionable childhood years manifest themselves as moments of self doubt in our adult years. Were you repeatedly told you would never amount to much if you didn't practice? Did older musicians ask you to lay out on your first gigs? These experiences could only result in present moments of self doubt. The knowledge that you haven't practiced for two weeks can be enough to frustrate you and doubt your abilities just before you're ready to perform. Reflect on your fears and insecurities. Were your parents overly protective of you or did they encourage you to swim and enjoy the water? Were you chased out of your dad's workshop or encouraged to learn how to use tools and help him? How were you accepted by classmates? teachers? musicians? members of the opposite sex? We could spend the rest of our life overcoming our fears and insecurities, but by understanding how they start we can help bury them.

DON'T TRY TO BLAME ANYONE ELSE FOR THEM; SIMPLY TAKE THE RESPONSIBILITY NOW FOR CREATING A NEW HEALTHIER, MORE REWARDING LIFE.

In what personality or character traits do you feel inadequate? Make a list of the traits you need and want.(Examples: Self-assurance; Self-respect; Energy; Motivation; Perseverance; Organization.)